Category Archives: Goals & Accomplishments

A New Year and a Fresh Start.


The above video is good food for thought for me at this point. This year has been full of challenges and obstacles, as well as a lot of growth and change.  I’ve had some backslides and some leaps forward, and I’ve remained stagnant in some areas. The main thing I’ve learned this year is that I don’t have to be perfect, and that often just showing up for life is enough to make it all worthwhile.

I really want to wow you with insight and brilliant ideas, but really I’m just doing what I need to do to keep moving forward in my life. I’m struggling pretty hard with my dietary changes right now, but I can see progress. Eventually I’ll be comfortable enough with my food sensitivities that I will be able to cook without it being a huge uphill struggle. I guess the hardest part is just that NOTHING I’m able to eat is packages, instant or effortless. I love whole foods cooking, but damn I miss the ease of just opening a package of veggie burgers at the end of a long day. I’ll get there – change usually results in some defiance, anger and resistance from me, and this change is no different.

From this point on I’ll be updating at least once a week, and probably reblogging a fair bit as well. I’m still in college, and struggling with learning how to be a student again, but it’s going ok. Last term was sort of blown out of the water by my emergency surgery and I’m working pretty hard at making up for it this term.


Shamanic Drumming and Moving Forward.


The above video really expresses what it is that is so appealing to me about shamanic drumming, and why it is something which I’m exploring for use in my own life. It just stirs something vast within me, and I know that I can harness this vastness and use it to journey deeply inward and deeply outward.

I’ve made some really profound realizations about the direction my life has taken and am so grateful for the bullets I’ve dodged, and the people and things I’ve lost over the past few years, as the gains I’ve made are far beyond what I ever suspected was possible for me. I am beginning to have a really solid concept of what my path is meant to be, and what it is becoming, and I’m beginning to be really excited by what a good job my intuition has done in guiding me, even when I thought I was wandering blindly and without direction. I’m really not trying to be vague, I just don’t quite have the words to describe what it is that I am here to share with the world yet. What I do know for sure is that my schooling will greatly aid me in this mission, and that working with differently abled people is certainly a step in the right direction for me.

School starts for me in September.

School starts for me in September.

I picked up my first semester textbooks today and began some preliminary studying. I’m so eager to get started on my actual program, and can hardly wait until January when my practicum begins.  It feels so good to be moving forward consciously and to KNOW deeply that things ARE on track, and that I have done the 360 degree turn which I needed to do.

I’m so grateful that the Universe chose to step in and show me the wrong relationship choices I had made, and let me know that I was destined for something bigger than just settling for what fell in my lap. Sometimes settling feels comfortable, but it’s not really the right fit, and comfortable is usually not the more interesting, fulfilling or growth-inducing place to be.

Walk in Beauty.

Centred, Focused and Moving Forward Into Now.



And people ask me what real transformation beyond the diet-mentality and the beauty doctrine looks and feels like. They have no concept. And that is only natural really. You are transformed when the relationship with food and with your body is no longer a form of resistance. Food, your body, they are no longer your enemy or your momentary lover. You don’t struggle, battle, or fight to control either. And you know neither one has any control over you anymore either.

You can walk into a room full of food and not panic or worry or feel nervous and anxious about it. Food is seldom the purpose to social engagements. You finally can look past the food. You don’t have a constant mental tape replaying in your mind that you “should” watch what you eat. There is simply no emotional “charge” with food anymore. Eating is just a natural and biological and enjoyable physical behavior – as it was always meant to be. But this new mindset can at first feel quite strange.

There you are standing at the dessert table at a party and everyone is mentioning how they shouldn’t be eating what is on their plate. Comments like that are no longer contagious on you. In fact you find it hard to even relate to that level of obsessing. You have recovered. You may not be able to explain that to others – but you realize you no longer have to explain it either. It’s not a position to defend – it is now just who you are now– someone not obsessed or focused on food and weight, weight and food.

And the same is true with your body. It is no longer an element of negative focus for you. You aren’t trying to mold it, shape it, torture it or project your negative fears, emotions and hostilities on to it. You can love and respect it without “what ifs”. And more importantly, you won’t allow others to objectify it anymore either. You are immune to the nonsense of all that extraneous noise.

But you will still be around others when the topic of all of it inevitably comes up. You will feel like you don’t belong in that conversation anymore – you are now a stranger to that conversation – only you don’t feel bad about that – you are happy to let go of it.

Over time you become so comfortable with food, eating and your body that you will find the language to express that level of comfort and satisfaction. But you let go of any attachment to how others may “receive” those sentiments – realizing they may be stuck as you once were – in the diet-mentality and all the cultural dictations about women’s bodies.

And now when you do notice within yourself, any of the old message patterns of body-image, food, dieting, and weight – you just observe and recognize them. They just now “inform” you that you are not fully present in the new you. You now use these thoughts – they can no longer ever use you again. So old thoughts don’t send you running back to their level – they just remind you – of your transformation.

All of the above – THAT is what life feels like, beyond the diet-mentality and the beauty doctrine. Because this is what having compassion for yourself also feels like to live as that person. It is higher awareness – which means accepting you may no longer be able to relate to people who lack the same capacity – just as you once lacked it.

Totally and shamelessly stolen from: Coach Scott Abel’s Facebook Page 

Coach Scott Abel’s page is SO worth following if you use Facebook and have food and or body issues, or even if you’re just really into being as vibrant and healthy as you can be.

Overall my life is really on track, and I am on an upward swirling spiral of positive changes in my life. I’ve started to learn chain maille, school arrangements are still underway, I have a camping vacation in the mountains planned with a friend for the beginning on July, and I seem to have found a love of pilates ball and TRX exercises spontaneously (yes, I’ve been working on myself, but it just all seemed to fall into place recently).

I have always had a ton of self-inflicted barriers in the way of my fitness goals (fear of looking too out of shape while working out, fear of breathing too hard, sweating too much etc) and somehow, through realizing how held back someone who used to be in my life was by their own self-inflicted barriers, I began the process of dissolving my own. It’s kind of cool when the Universe hands me awarenesses where I least expect to find them.

I truly hope that everyone on the planet starts to see the way they hold themselves back from living their best life, and starts to challenge those barriers, because it feels really good to suddenly find yourself enjoying things you once disallowed yourself from enjoying, and enjoying the sense of freedom it brings with it. I know I’m for sure going to keep moving myself in this exciting new direction, and that I will continue to challenge my own limiting beliefs.

We all deserve to be wholistically vibrant, awake, alive and filled with joy – trust me on this one.

Walk In Beauty

Healing My Eating Disorder.


Flourite bead choker

I mentioned way back when I started this blog that I have struggled off and on for years with various forms of disordered eating and I do still sometimes deal with compulsive eating. I have made a ton of headway with my addictions through learning to accept them and not abusing myself when I have a backslide. This method of self healing was reaffirmed for me this week through reading and reflecting upon the chapters on addictions and health/food in one  the books I’m currently reading (Being in Balance by Dr, Wayne Dyer).

You’re Not What You Eat;

You’re What You Believe About What You Eat.

~ Dr, Wayne Dyer

My primary”drugs of choice” have been potato chips and I’m finding that they have lost much of their pull on me in recent months. Heck, I even survived a pretty brutal break-up without falling way off the deep end with a big bag of chips clutched to my chest. With the releasing of the shame which I used to hold so close to my heart when I “binged” much of the appeal of self-abuse seems to have quite simply vanished.

Tonight I had decided to go to the store and grab some chips to stuff my face with, but as seems to happen more and more often these days, I put them back on the shelf and made a healthier, more self-loving choice. Instead of a family sized bag of chips, I came home with a quarter of a watermelon, an avocado, and a cucumber. I had a lot of fun eating and enjoying the watermelon with my mother and my dog (my dog adores fruit and vegetables as I’ve raised him with them as dietary staples) and basically having a little celebration of life and healing.

It’s kind of neat to find that the healthier aspects of my personality are starting to be the parts of me which make most of my choices these days. I feel like I used to hold myself prisoner with my own self-destructive behaviours, and I have begun to free myself to be the balanced, healthy and complete person I was holding myself back from embracing.

Life is really beautiful, and I’m really grateful to be who I am, and where I am at this point in my life. Truthfully, I wouldn’t change a thing right now.  I seem to have found my center and I’m just loving my life and who I am. I seem to be so much happier single than I ever was in a relationship. I’m starting to understand why this is, and I think that it will change and evolve as I do.

My Current (holistic) Fitness Goals


An infinity of forests lies dormant within the dreams of one Acorn

– Dr.Wayne W. Dyer

Yoga Class at a Gym Category:Gyms_and_Health_Clubs

Yoga Class at a Gym Category:Gyms_and_Health_Clubs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)




So, as those of you who have been following this blog already know, I’m a type two diabetic and one of my major goals is to reverse my diabetes through a plant-based diet and being active. I’ve lost 35lbs or so over the past two years and have hit a plateau of sorts this year. Part of this has been due to the fact that I’ve been a bit lax this year and fell back into eating a lot more convenience foods for a while there, but mostly it’s been that I stopped putting a concerted effort into getting at least an hour of exercise per day (other than working) in. I’ve decided that it’s time to kick my effort back up as I really would like to be a good 40 lbs lighter by next summer (I’m into slow, steady, maintainable results rather than obsessive dieting).


So, my new job is a 5.2km bike ride away and another 5.2km bike ride home again which is a pretty good chunk of daily cardio but, to kick things up a notch I’m going to commit to doing a few additional things:

  1. I’ll taking a yoga class twice a week, starting next month (I won’t have the spare cash until then).
  2. I will be doing daily an at home TRX workout for 30 minutes. (mostly planks, and squats for now).
  3. I will walk my dog for an hour every morning, come rain, shine, or snow.
  4. I am (and will continue to) work through the book “Quantum Wellness” by Kathy Freston (this is really helping me to balance and focus my lifestyle).
  5. I will meditate for 30 minutes each evening (as I have been recently).
  6. I will post updates about these goals once per week and let you know my progress.


I’m posting a link to a beginner’s TRX workout Youtube video so that those of you who aren’t familiar with TRX can check it out. It’s a great alternative to going to the gym as it’s affordable and portable. I paid 175$ for my system and although I haven’t used it as much as I intended to, I’m really glad that I invested in it, as it will be getting put to good use starting today.



Hopefully, this new routine will bring some really positive results with it. I’m not super obsessed with being thin, but I do really wish to be stronger, healthier and more flexible. My intention is to be healthier at 45 than I was at 25 and although I’ve had a few set backs, I didn’t backslide much at all progress wise and I certainly have a solid start on actually meeting that goal