Category Archives: Depression and Anxiety

A New Year and a Fresh Start.


The above video is good food for thought for me at this point. This year has been full of challenges and obstacles, as well as a lot of growth and change.  I’ve had some backslides and some leaps forward, and I’ve remained stagnant in some areas. The main thing I’ve learned this year is that I don’t have to be perfect, and that often just showing up for life is enough to make it all worthwhile.

I really want to wow you with insight and brilliant ideas, but really I’m just doing what I need to do to keep moving forward in my life. I’m struggling pretty hard with my dietary changes right now, but I can see progress. Eventually I’ll be comfortable enough with my food sensitivities that I will be able to cook without it being a huge uphill struggle. I guess the hardest part is just that NOTHING I’m able to eat is packages, instant or effortless. I love whole foods cooking, but damn I miss the ease of just opening a package of veggie burgers at the end of a long day. I’ll get there – change usually results in some defiance, anger and resistance from me, and this change is no different.

From this point on I’ll be updating at least once a week, and probably reblogging a fair bit as well. I’m still in college, and struggling with learning how to be a student again, but it’s going ok. Last term was sort of blown out of the water by my emergency surgery and I’m working pretty hard at making up for it this term.


The I in the Rose.


“I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man’s self-respect is a sin.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Photo credit: novakreo)

The above quote really struck me as lovely today. I have been working really hard at reprogramming my thoughts about myself and my body, health finances etc and this quote reminds me that I need to treat myself AND those around me with a higher level of respect and a lesser level of judgment.

It’s pretty fascinating and inspiring to realise that one can reprogram one’s thinking and emerge out the other end having impacted not only oneself, but also the entirety of the world  positively through making fairly moderate effort.

Sometimes it’s disappointing to see how bent out of shape my thought processes are, and to think about it in terms of how much effort it will take to heal the scars of life is kind of overwhelming, but I really am up for and involved with meeting the challenge. I have grown tired of “feeling broken” and bit by bit I’m beginning to feel whole.

The world really is reaching a spiritual awakening, and I for one am becoming more and more aware of it, and it’s positive impacts on all of us.


From Seed to Fruit – Eating the Fruit at Last.


Life is a precious gift. Don't waste it being ...

We must face the unavoidable truth: the world is in crisis and nothing short of a total spiritual transformation will avert the catastrophe that lies ahead.We are being called to create an new world paradigm: one based on love instead of fear. Fear closes our hearts and shuts God out. We forget our alignment to a harmonious vertical reality in which we are one with All That Is and fall into a fragmented horizontal reality in which we are separate from each other, from the world, from Life, and from Source. Surely, the mess we have got ourselves into is a by-product of the fear-based paradigm we have been living in for so long?

FromHow to find God in everything” by Amoda Maa Jeevan

I’m just sitting home after a really great shift at work, and am soaking up the joy I’m feeling. I have a great big glass of cucumber, dill and lemon juice and it feels SO good, to be absorbing such simple and delicious nutrition. I don’t think I’ll ever fully “go raw” but I sure do feel good when pure, alive and clean foods take a central role in my meals.

It really does amaze me when I successfully spend a day just loving everything and feeling connected, without allowing myself to get side-tracked or sucked into any low-vibrational thinking. It’s really been enlightening for me to realize that rather than breaking thought processes down into “positive or negative” or “bad or good” or “healthy or unhealthy” I can just focus on how it affects me energetically and use that knowledge to guide me. I’m still just a fledgling as far as my spiritual journey goes, but my wings are growing stronger, and my passion for flight is growing exponentially.

Truthfully, I feel a little self-conscious about sharing about my spiritual path online, but it just seems to be such a high focal point of my life right now, and I want to share my excitement. I have no interest in teaching or in influencing other people’s journeys or even in convincing people that what I’m seeking is findable, I am just excited and happy to have found the start of my path after so many years of feeling direction-less.

This path doesn’t really feel so much like a “new discovery” as it feels like rediscovering aspects of myself which I had abandoned out of fear and a low sense of self-worth. I feel like the child in me has been lovingly brought back into my life and knows that she is worthy, loved and safe to live in the world freely and with unconditional support from me.

For many years I believed that the world was broken beyond repair and things were hopeless. I swam angrily in my rage and depression and just outright refused to allow myself to even consider pursuing any sort of stability or “success” in life, because it all seemed so hopeless and so pointless. My depression is gone today, and I KNOW that joy and love are there for me to live in and that I will never be crippled by depression again, because I don’t need it anymore. I’m just done with that part of my journey, and now starts the joyful, abundant and love-filled part.

Forks Over Knives | Angelina Jolie|Some of MY Thoughts on Food/Health



We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”

                                                                                                     –  Anais Nin

Forks Over Knives | Angelina Jolie’s Double Mastectomy—People Are Desperate for Change.

This article really gets me thinking about my eating habits and my father’s death. My dad has a number of issues, including hepatitis C due to a lifetime of needle use (he was a heroin addict), but in the end it was cancer which killed him. His having had cancer of course puts me in a higher risk category, but I’m quite confident that I will stay cancer free due to my clean lifestyle, and my mostly clean diet. I most certainly won’t do chemo EVER, or have parts of me cut off unless it’s an absolute last resort for an already existing cancer, and even then I’d have to think long and hard. I really do believe that plant based whole foods are the secret to a long healthy life, both for humans and the animals who aren’t winding up on our plates.

I had my own share of struggles with addictions in my earlier life (I went to rehab at age 19, and am 41 now and can honestly say that I have RECOVERED) and I know first hand how quickly proper eating fades out of the picture once addictions, or other imbalanced ways of living (workaholism, video game addiction, depression, sex addiction, unhealthy relationships,eating disorders, money-focused living etc) rear their ugly heads. I can truthfully tell you that when one’s driving force is a desire for “more” of whatever it is one is using (and almost all of us are or have used something at some point) to escape the need to feel, process and LIVE life, one just doesn’t have the time or energy, or even the desire to worry about whether ones body is too acid or not.

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