Category Archives: Practice

Shamanic Drumming and Moving Forward.

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The above video really expresses what it is that is so appealing to me about shamanic drumming, and why it is something which I’m exploring for use in my own life. It just stirs something vast within me, and I know that I can harness this vastness and use it to journey deeply inward and deeply outward.

I’ve made some really profound realizations about the direction my life has taken and am so grateful for the bullets I’ve dodged, and the people and things I’ve lost over the past few years, as the gains I’ve made are far beyond what I ever suspected was possible for me. I am beginning to have a really solid concept of what my path is meant to be, and what it is becoming, and I’m beginning to be really excited by what a good job my intuition has done in guiding me, even when I thought I was wandering blindly and without direction. I’m really not trying to be vague, I just don’t quite have the words to describe what it is that I am here to share with the world yet. What I do know for sure is that my schooling will greatly aid me in this mission, and that working with differently abled people is certainly a step in the right direction for me.

School starts for me in September.

School starts for me in September.

I picked up my first semester textbooks today and began some preliminary studying. I’m so eager to get started on my actual program, and can hardly wait until January when my practicum begins.  It feels so good to be moving forward consciously and to KNOW deeply that things ARE on track, and that I have done the 360 degree turn which I needed to do.

I’m so grateful that the Universe chose to step in and show me the wrong relationship choices I had made, and let me know that I was destined for something bigger than just settling for what fell in my lap. Sometimes settling feels comfortable, but it’s not really the right fit, and comfortable is usually not the more interesting, fulfilling or growth-inducing place to be.

Walk in Beauty.

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Angels in Artichoke Hearts.

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Artichoke

Artichoke (Photo credit: elspethbriscoe)

There is no morality within food, yet we see many of  you seeking comfort with utensils that hold morsels of food dangling into the mouth that instead hungers for a reunion with God. These beings we seek to comfort with our healing presence, yet it is at times tough to get through! For this,  we remind you of a condition that you at one time called “Saying Grace.” We like to think of this tradition as not something that is retired, but perhaps a new trend upon your horizon.

Borrowed from: Angel Therapy by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. and The Angelic Realm

From Seed to Fruit – Eating the Fruit at Last.

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Life is a precious gift. Don't waste it being ...

We must face the unavoidable truth: the world is in crisis and nothing short of a total spiritual transformation will avert the catastrophe that lies ahead.We are being called to create an new world paradigm: one based on love instead of fear. Fear closes our hearts and shuts God out. We forget our alignment to a harmonious vertical reality in which we are one with All That Is and fall into a fragmented horizontal reality in which we are separate from each other, from the world, from Life, and from Source. Surely, the mess we have got ourselves into is a by-product of the fear-based paradigm we have been living in for so long?

FromHow to find God in everything” by Amoda Maa Jeevan

I’m just sitting home after a really great shift at work, and am soaking up the joy I’m feeling. I have a great big glass of cucumber, dill and lemon juice and it feels SO good, to be absorbing such simple and delicious nutrition. I don’t think I’ll ever fully “go raw” but I sure do feel good when pure, alive and clean foods take a central role in my meals.

It really does amaze me when I successfully spend a day just loving everything and feeling connected, without allowing myself to get side-tracked or sucked into any low-vibrational thinking. It’s really been enlightening for me to realize that rather than breaking thought processes down into “positive or negative” or “bad or good” or “healthy or unhealthy” I can just focus on how it affects me energetically and use that knowledge to guide me. I’m still just a fledgling as far as my spiritual journey goes, but my wings are growing stronger, and my passion for flight is growing exponentially.

Truthfully, I feel a little self-conscious about sharing about my spiritual path online, but it just seems to be such a high focal point of my life right now, and I want to share my excitement. I have no interest in teaching or in influencing other people’s journeys or even in convincing people that what I’m seeking is findable, I am just excited and happy to have found the start of my path after so many years of feeling direction-less.

This path doesn’t really feel so much like a “new discovery” as it feels like rediscovering aspects of myself which I had abandoned out of fear and a low sense of self-worth. I feel like the child in me has been lovingly brought back into my life and knows that she is worthy, loved and safe to live in the world freely and with unconditional support from me.

For many years I believed that the world was broken beyond repair and things were hopeless. I swam angrily in my rage and depression and just outright refused to allow myself to even consider pursuing any sort of stability or “success” in life, because it all seemed so hopeless and so pointless. My depression is gone today, and I KNOW that joy and love are there for me to live in and that I will never be crippled by depression again, because I don’t need it anymore. I’m just done with that part of my journey, and now starts the joyful, abundant and love-filled part.

We Are The Creators Of The Universe – Rising Spirits ! ❤

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This video has really been an important part of my spiritual journey, and continues to be one. I thought I’d share it here as it’s good stuff, worth sharing. I  don’t ascribe to any one spiritual group or path (aside from my own), but things from assorted places sometimes touch me deeply – this is one of those things.  This has really played a key role in helping me reconnect with my spiritual path.

Yesterday I finally took the plunge and bought the drum I’ve been wanting for the past two years and am planning on incorporating shamanic drumming into my life. Something about drumming (both doing and listening to) has always really touched something deeply in me. Even as a small child, the drumming and chanting at Powwows brought me to tears (joyful, deep ones) and I believe that I can begin using this to help with my own meditation and journeying. I’m still just a fledgling, but I’m eager to learn to soar.

I Am.

Exclusionary vs Inclusionary Thinking Within Social Groups.

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I don't need a thneed.

I don’t need a thneed.

I’ve been struggling to find the words to write about this for months, and although I don’t quite feel that I’m there yet I need to open this dialogue and address it. I have been really interested in animal-free and whole foods eating since I was sixteen, and two years or so ago I finally took the plunge and became vegan. This was such an exciting time period for me and I felt so centered and so within my truth for the first few months, and then I started becoming active in the assorted vegan groups on Facebook and things started to change for me.It stopped being exhilarating, empowering, joyful and celebratory and started to feel like the same old group-think I’ve always fought against.

People have their own ideas about what a vegan is and does, and most of us are excited to share this with the world HOWEVER, it stops being sharing when people begin thinking that their path is the only path, and that everyone else needs to change and follow that path. This is not how a healthy, vibrant and empowering community grows, this is how exclusion, cliques and wars start. I’ve had to take a step away from most of the Facebook groups because I get really frustrated with all of the judging and condemning I was experiencing and it was infuriating me to the point that I wanted to give up on living in my truth.

I don’t always see things the same way that other vegans do, and as a result I often call myself a “strict vegetarian” or tell people “I only eat plants” or well, avoid the topic entirely to avoid having to explain why my 16 year old coat which once belonged to my grandmother is made of wool, or why I still wear the leather Doc Martens I bought in 1992.

I suspect that the best route for me is just to continue sharing my joy of cruelty free cooking, eating and living and just refrain from trying to define myself with labels which other people have created. I have known for years that by adopting labels and stories to define who I am I’m really ego identifying rather than celebrating the connectedness of all living things, and even in something as simple as choosing a less cruel life style ego clashes, judgments and battles begin when one person’s (or more than one person’s) egoic identity feels threatened or encroached upon.

I’m really struggling to leave my desire to fit in and be accepted as exactly who I am and how I live behind and just accept myself unconditionally and free of labels. On a spiritual level it makes sense to me to just BE and forget about defining myself as part of a man-made grouping, but my social conditioning bucks against my desire to free myself. I wish I could figure out how to just let go of the mental traps I’ve laid for myself and just fully, 100% embrace The Great I am and stay here.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.

Bob MarleyRedemption Song

My truth as far as lifestyle goes is quite simple and straight forward:

I believe in living as simply, ethically, beautifully  and harmonically as possible. This includes being a cyclist instead of driving, buying most of what I consume used, bulk, or with very little packaging, avoiding animal products and chemical ingredients as best I can (which means I still use my old things which are usable because I believe in waste reduction as strongly as I do in animal rights). I believe in education in place of indoctrination, and in progress rather than perfection. I believe in treating my fellow Earthlings (both human and otherwise) with respect and dignity and in learning about our differences rather than attempting to force myself or others into uncomfortable hive-mind situations.

I believe in walking the middle road in my relationship with the planet and the Universe. I strive to be as non-dualistic as possible, and I often fail miserably, and get back up and try again, and I believe in applying these same principals in all of my relationships.

I think it’s time to increase my meditation practice again, as I feel things birthing within me and meditation will help ease my labor pains.

Love vs Fear

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This is a really good reminder for me!

This is a really good reminder for me!

I finished registering for my courses and finished my student loan application today. It was really stressful (I tend to have a ton of anxiety when I’m faced with bureaucracy and the hoop jumping and red-tape which comes along with it). I’m very pleased and excited to be all set to attend school in September (I’m studying to become a Disability and Community Rehabilitation worker, in order to gain the financial stability which I need in order to start working toward my longer-term goal of becoming an aromatherapist and herbalist).

I’ve been spending a good amount of my free time with a really amazing man and my heart is all fluttery and excited, in a way I haven’t felt in years. It’s still too soon to say where things with us will lead, but I haven’t felt this connected and peaceful in anyone’s company in many, many years, it’s so refreshing to have someone to spend time with who appreciates the whimsical nature of my personality, and who is as happy to learn as they are to teach.  It’s too soon to say that I’m in love, but I’m sure looking forward to enjoying the journey and finding out where it takes us.

As we press upon one another with our intentions, From our hearts fly luminous butterflies, That intermingle and crossover to be absorbed. In abeyance our hearts await.

Lujan Matus

I’ve finally got two days off side by side a week at my job, which is allowing me the leisure time I have needed to work on this blog, my beadwork and to start getting my kitchen back into shape so I can start cooking some real meals again. Tonight’s supper was a giant smoothie with 3/4 of a cup of white beans snuck into the mix. It was actually really tasty, and once I’ve tweaked the recipe I’ll share it here.

I’ve just started to learn chords on my ukelele, and I’ve been fiddling around with learning chain mail as well. I’ve also been putting real effort into increasing my Linux knowledge. It’s kind of amazing to think about all of the knowledge and beauty there is to explore.

I’ve been working really hard on wrapping my head around non-duality recently, as I’ve started to really see how the power of attraction works in my own life. Focusing on how messed up the world is will never create positive movement toward change and growth, it just keeps us stuck. My depression didn’t lift until I decided to create positive change for myself, and I believe that the same is true on a universal level. It’s funny how the same old lessons sometimes take on new (or maybe just deeper) meaning for me.

I really need to go spend some time in meditation tonight. Life has been awfully busy recently and I think I need to just BE for a bit.

Walk In Beauty

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Body Shame and Moving Into MY Perfection.

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bikesky

Perspective is EVERYTHING. Is this a field destroyed by industry and a sky marred by chem-trails OR is it a beautiful day to be human and moving forward?

We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Anais Nin

It’s finally gotten good and hot here in Southern Alberta, and as the temperatures go up, layers of clothing come off. As I am someone with a long history of disordered eating and distorted body image, and as a human being who grew up on Earth, surrounded by commercials, fashion magazines and media in general this of course brings up a ton of food for thought. My perspective is pretty unusual, as I am also someone who has studied and understood both the Beauty Myth and the patriarchal pyramid and I am fully awake to and aware of how distorted my (and most other people’s) ideas about bodies and health really are, or at least can be.

A love for physical activity has not come easily to me. I’ve always been a “big girl”  and as a kid I was teased for this, as well as having parents who encouraged me to diet, but seldom encouraged me to be physically active. The shame I felt about my “flawed” body was pretty over the top for many years. I wouldn’t participate in gym class as early as age six for fear that people would comment on my “fat” jiggling, or my sweating, breathing hard or appearing “too out of shape”. This sort of shame of course, did nothing to encourage me to work on improving my physical strength or my overall health.

Of course, with all of this inner emotional torture going on I never had a chance to find out that sweating, jiggling, breathing hard and getting my heart pounding due to physical exertion feels really, really good! I learned this on my own over the course of the past two years, as  I have rediscovered my love of bicycling! I adore working hard to make it up a big hill, or pushing my bike against strong wind. All of those physical sensations which I used to see as “signs that I’m too fat” are now pleasurable reminders that my body is growing stronger and healthier.

I frequently find myself needing to correct my thinking when I’m out cycling as I catch my thoughts running toward how I look to other people. If I allow my mind to wander off in that direction things get uncomfortable instead of joyful. I’m getting better and better each day at just not allowing my mind to stray into negative self-talk and anxiety. It’s sometimes really hard, and I need to remind myself over and over again to enjoy the view, enjoy the air, enjoy the sun, enjoy the pumping of my heart, the working of my lungs and the motion of my hips and to forget about my “muffin top”. Basically, if I practice staying in and enjoying the “now”. I’m in a good place and am moving forward.

This sort of personal experience is why so many of us are against “fat shaming” and focusing on physical appearance instead of wholistic wellness. I would never have made it to the point I have in regards to healing my relationship with my body if I had stayed in the place I used to dwell due to bullying, poor self-image, and media programming. I’m still not in “excellent” shape, but my body is perfectly designed by nature and when I celebrate that instead of obsessing over how I look when I bend this way or that, I’m moving forward into my perfection.

Feeling ashamed of our bodies really is quite a ridiculous concept when one considers that we are perfectly designed by the Universe to live beautiful, abundant and healthful lives, we just need BE it. Each and every one of us was designed to function as a perfect piece of the whole of the Universe.

I am working on ignoring my weight and am instead focusing on how my body feels, and how far I can push it on a daily basis. I’m more interested in gaining agility, strength, endurance and joy  than I am in worrying that I don’t look appropriately super-model-like. I’m eating as much healthy food as my body desires, and am not shaming myself for eating ANYTHING these days. Food is delicious fuel to drive us toward our perfected state. We have a natural human drive to pursue maximum calories with minimal effort and to burn those calories off through living life exuberantly!  These are really important steps/concepts in my personal journey.

I am a whole person, I am a vital person, and my life is here for the living.