Centred, Focused and Moving Forward Into Now.



And people ask me what real transformation beyond the diet-mentality and the beauty doctrine looks and feels like. They have no concept. And that is only natural really. You are transformed when the relationship with food and with your body is no longer a form of resistance. Food, your body, they are no longer your enemy or your momentary lover. You don’t struggle, battle, or fight to control either. And you know neither one has any control over you anymore either.

You can walk into a room full of food and not panic or worry or feel nervous and anxious about it. Food is seldom the purpose to social engagements. You finally can look past the food. You don’t have a constant mental tape replaying in your mind that you “should” watch what you eat. There is simply no emotional “charge” with food anymore. Eating is just a natural and biological and enjoyable physical behavior – as it was always meant to be. But this new mindset can at first feel quite strange.

There you are standing at the dessert table at a party and everyone is mentioning how they shouldn’t be eating what is on their plate. Comments like that are no longer contagious on you. In fact you find it hard to even relate to that level of obsessing. You have recovered. You may not be able to explain that to others – but you realize you no longer have to explain it either. It’s not a position to defend – it is now just who you are now– someone not obsessed or focused on food and weight, weight and food.

And the same is true with your body. It is no longer an element of negative focus for you. You aren’t trying to mold it, shape it, torture it or project your negative fears, emotions and hostilities on to it. You can love and respect it without “what ifs”. And more importantly, you won’t allow others to objectify it anymore either. You are immune to the nonsense of all that extraneous noise.

But you will still be around others when the topic of all of it inevitably comes up. You will feel like you don’t belong in that conversation anymore – you are now a stranger to that conversation – only you don’t feel bad about that – you are happy to let go of it.

Over time you become so comfortable with food, eating and your body that you will find the language to express that level of comfort and satisfaction. But you let go of any attachment to how others may “receive” those sentiments – realizing they may be stuck as you once were – in the diet-mentality and all the cultural dictations about women’s bodies.

And now when you do notice within yourself, any of the old message patterns of body-image, food, dieting, and weight – you just observe and recognize them. They just now “inform” you that you are not fully present in the new you. You now use these thoughts – they can no longer ever use you again. So old thoughts don’t send you running back to their level – they just remind you – of your transformation.

All of the above – THAT is what life feels like, beyond the diet-mentality and the beauty doctrine. Because this is what having compassion for yourself also feels like to live as that person. It is higher awareness – which means accepting you may no longer be able to relate to people who lack the same capacity – just as you once lacked it.

Totally and shamelessly stolen from: Coach Scott Abel’s Facebook Page 

Coach Scott Abel’s page is SO worth following if you use Facebook and have food and or body issues, or even if you’re just really into being as vibrant and healthy as you can be.

Overall my life is really on track, and I am on an upward swirling spiral of positive changes in my life. I’ve started to learn chain maille, school arrangements are still underway, I have a camping vacation in the mountains planned with a friend for the beginning on July, and I seem to have found a love of pilates ball and TRX exercises spontaneously (yes, I’ve been working on myself, but it just all seemed to fall into place recently).

I have always had a ton of self-inflicted barriers in the way of my fitness goals (fear of looking too out of shape while working out, fear of breathing too hard, sweating too much etc) and somehow, through realizing how held back someone who used to be in my life was by their own self-inflicted barriers, I began the process of dissolving my own. It’s kind of cool when the Universe hands me awarenesses where I least expect to find them.

I truly hope that everyone on the planet starts to see the way they hold themselves back from living their best life, and starts to challenge those barriers, because it feels really good to suddenly find yourself enjoying things you once disallowed yourself from enjoying, and enjoying the sense of freedom it brings with it. I know I’m for sure going to keep moving myself in this exciting new direction, and that I will continue to challenge my own limiting beliefs.

We all deserve to be wholistically vibrant, awake, alive and filled with joy – trust me on this one.

Walk In Beauty


About couleewind

I'm a 41 year old woman from a small city in Alberta Canada. I am whimsical and bitter-sweet and am essentially a marshmallow in a porcupine suit. I collect Pez dispensers and books and I love to talk, although I do tend to be fairly introspective. The sort of content which you will find here will vary depending on the day, my mood and what’s going on in my world or of interest to me. I mainly blog as method of reflecting on my day and on my life at the time of the post. I have a history of struggling with social anxiety and depression, as well as type two diabetes, and through living a plant-based, wholistically centered life I've made great strides in these areas. This blog is meant to reflect where I'm at in my life, and how I'm moving toward creating the life I see myself having in my dreams. I will often discuss, whole foods, meditation, personal growth and my day to day struggles and victories. I am also a highschool drop out who is returning to school at age 42, and a person who lives on a very tight fixed income currently, this will also be reflected in my blog.

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