I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.
e. e. cummings
Today was pretty darn awesome for me. It was my third shift at my new job and it’s really feeling good for me being there. The staff and the customers are just plain easy to be around, and my shifts just fly by painlessly.
The hour or so I spend on my bike on the way to and from work is seriously just glorious freedom for me. I really don’t understand why so many people become slaves to their cars; they’re just missing out on so much exhilaration, freedom and gym-free exercise. I’m probably quite the ridiculous sight when I bike home (and truthfully the though of how ridiculous I am makes me happy) because I bring music with me and sing my heart out while I peddle home. Today I was jamming to Van Morrison, drumming on my handle bars and basically just sucking up the sunlight and my freedom. I’m studying to get my learner’s license, and then my driver’s but truthfully, I think I’ll always bike in the warm months, it just brings me so much peace. I’ve moved into biking in a harder gear now that I’ve gotten a bit more used to the commute, and my legs and thighs are REALLY feeling the workout.
Tonight for supper I just made a really simple curried stew using tinned lentils, onions, celery. carrots, potatoes, zucchini, a chunk of broccoli, herbs, tamari, curry paste and a handful of leftover romano beans. I ate it with some toast and it was really satisfying and I feel good. I love how easy it is to turn PLANTS into a good, fulfilling, healthy meal in no time at all. Most likely I’ll just warm up the leftovers tomorrow and have them with a scoop of brown rice and a small cabbage salad.
I’m reading Being In Balance by Dr. Wayne Dyer currently and I’m really learning a lot about living in a peaceful vibratory state, and about changing my thinking/feeling. This book is really helping me own and release the anxiety and stress that I usually carry around in me. It’s refreshing to read about stress/anxiety management in this new way. Thinking on a vibrational level rather than an intellectual level seems to really bring some new insight for me. My intellectual understanding of “choosing my feelings” just plain wasn’t doing much for me, but broken down this way it just seems to be more easily applicable. I’m ready to let go of my anxiety and stress and embrace being the peace I know resides at my core. This book really resonates with my current meditation work, and my current focus on balancing my life out wholistically.
I’ve officially decided that I’m much happier, more balanced and more grounded now that my ex isn’t in my life. I’m not blaming him for the fact that I wasn’t happy, or that my life was lacking while I was with him, but I am celebrating my newfound freedom. It’s hard making a life with someone else and truthfully, I’m just really not into the idea of being tied down to keeping house and caring for someone else’s needs at this point in my life. I haven’t yet mastered self-care and balance, and having someone else who needed me to meet their needs really threw me off balance. I’ll always love things about our time together, and I learned a ton about what I do and do not want in a partner and my life.
This song always reminds me to be grateful for my ability to support myself and to love working, even if my job isn’t always what I want to be doing. Something as simple as preparing a nourishing meal and providing a bright moment in someone’s day is a service to humanity, if done with a humble spirit and good intentions. Hating my job isn’t something I need to do today. I’m working in the direction of creating the life I dream of for myself, and where I’m at right now, is just fine. Music is sure a beautiful way to celebrate life.