How to Be Alone.

Video

I’m really missing my ex, and although I know that our breakup was probably the best thing for both of us, I’m hurting a ton.

Prior to our relationship I had been really happily alone, for many years and I need to remember what happy and alone are again.

This video makes me remember that alone and lonely are not the same, and I need that right now.

This would be so much easier if I didn’t love him still, if his stuff was all moved out, and if he wasn’t so incredibly angry with me. I know that time will heal this, but daaaamn I’m not feeling very patient about it – it’s been a long time since I’ve had a broken heart, and I forgot how uncomfortable it is.

The good part is that I’m really focusing on my meditation practice as I just can’t handle the anxiety which has been with me for the past two weeks or so. Years ago I’d have just numbed my pain with cigarettes, food, marijuana,  casual sex and booze – today I have to/choose to (with varying degrees of success) face my pain like a warrior.

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